Losing a companion animal can be as emotionally devastating as losing a human family member. Yet when people struggle after a pet’s death, they often wonder: Is this normal grief, or something more? Understanding the difference can help guide support and healing.
“Pet loss grief is a healthy, human response to the loss of a meaningful bond, even though it can be a “disenfranchised” form of grief not universally recognized,” said Dr. Laurie Brush, founder of Heaven at Home Pet Hospice.
“In fact, recent neurological research suggests that due to factors such as inter-species brain synchronization, pet loss grief can be as profound as that of losing a child.”
The pain may feel intense, but over time most people experience gradual shifts: the emotions become less overwhelming, daily functioning improves, and the person begins to reintegrate the loss into their life. Waves of sadness, guilt, and longing are expected, especially in the first weeks and months. Importantly, the person remains able—however slowly—to return to routines, maintain relationships, and find moments of relief or connection. But what happens when that’s not the case?
In mental health, the diagnosis of Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD) offers a clinical framework. While it is written only for human bereavement, its structure can help identify when grief of any kind becomes prolonged, complicated, or impairing.
A Diagnosis of Prolonged Grief Disorder Requires:
- A duration of at least 12 months (for adults);
- Persistent, nearly daily yearning or preoccupation with the deceased;
- Three or more symptoms such as disbelief, identity disruption, intense emotional pain, avoidance of reminders, difficulty returning to life, emotional numbness, meaninglessness, or profound loneliness;
- And clinically significant impairment—difficulty functioning at home, work, or socially.
In the context of pet loss, these indicators can signal that someone may need additional support, even though the “formal” PGD diagnosis does not apply. The key distinctions are duration, intensity, and impact on functioning. When grief remains raw, unchanging, or debilitating for many months, or when a person feels “stuck” and unable to move forward, it may reflect a form of complicated grief that benefits from counseling or peer support.
Recognizing this difference is not about labeling grief. It’s about ensuring people get the care they need. Pet-loss grief is real, valid, and deserving of compassion. Understanding when that grief becomes prolonged helps us respond with empathy and appropriate support.
One way to promote healing and access support is the West Michigan Pet Loss Grief Support Group, which meets on the second Tuesday of each month from 6:30 – 8:00 p.m. at Heaven at Home Pet Hospice, 1530 Monroe Ave. NW, Grand Rapids, MI.
Please RSVP with Group Facilitator Ginny Mikita at 616.460.0373 or ginny@animalblessings.love to attend.
For more information on pet loss grief counseling, contact the Heaven at Home team.